Kids and conservatives – the fightback begins here.
Evidence from elections reveals that the older you are, the more likely you are to vote Conservative.
Those of you that way politically inclined will no doubt attribute this to the wisdom of age. A time in life when dreams and aspirations are replaced with the importance of self-preservation from a necessarily shortsighted perspective.
Always curious about the “why”, I did a little research and learned that the connections between the frontal lobe and the rest of the brain are just as poor after 65 as they are in teenagers. White matter known as Myelin coats the nerve cells of the frontal lobe in adults, ensuring strong communications with the rest of the brain. In teenagers this coating is still forming; in pensioners it’s gradually ebbing away.
The frontal lobe being vital to understanding the consequences of your actions and your decisions. Ir’s a key factor in being able to empathise (or even sympathise) with others.
Without strong connections you inhabit a world where blue passports are incredibly important but global warming just means lower heating bills. Where the temporary silencing of Big Ben warrants reverential bowing of the head but the prevalence of food banks is dismissed as an irrelevance that only affects other people (mainly the lazy and the slipshod).
True, pensioners have decades of knowledge that teenagers have yet to acquire, but without the ability to stop and think “Is this a good idea?” or “What are the wider consequences of this action?” then knowledge has indubitably failed to manifest itself as wisdom.
On a related note, research also shows a correlation between being inebriated and extolling right wing views. And not just in teenagers.
So If kids aren’t permitted to vote as they don’t yet understand the world, then perhaps those over a certain age also shouldn’t be allowed to vote since they – through no fault of their own – are no longer fully connected to it.
This conundrum is easily resolved: I give our lawmakers and policymakers two simple options. Either:
a) Bring forward the voting age to 16, or
b) Ban those over 65 from voting.
If neither of those is palatable, I offer a third choice:
Upon entry to polling booths, all pensioners will be breathalised.
Some Pilot You Are 